im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
