We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
