i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
