Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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