but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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