Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
