Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
