wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
cat food counts as protein by the way
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
