You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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