you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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