I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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