you guys were way drunker than both of me
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
