Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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