I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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