Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
