just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
