I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
