Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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