Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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