Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
