Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
