just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Blood and glitter go together right?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
