Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
