It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
