Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
