So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
