She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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