You just made me feel so damn special
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
