I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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