mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Randomize
