i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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