I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
