I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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