worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
