I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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