I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
