Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
