That's when you crack a 10am beer
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
