Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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