You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
