So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The adults are the big ones right?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
