Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
