there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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