I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
