I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
