One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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