I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
