that's an acceptable place to lick
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
