Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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