my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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