I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
